It has been a good two(2) years since I entered college. I looked at myself in the mirror just now. What has changed? I'm fatter, my hair is shorter, my teeth more crooked, and I'm uglier. That's about the only change I can see in the mirror. I felt really sad about it, so I made coffee, and drank it outside my house. My village isn't like how it used to be. There are a lot of changes in terms of houses, people, pets, and mess. Shook off the whatever bothered me, and went back inside. I looked in the mirror once again. I was desperate to see change. I looked myself in the eye. I saw something. I think I saw me.
Two years ago, I had a different set of principles. My priorities are not how they are right now. I wanted play more than anything else. Grand plans for the future. I dreamed about a lot of things. Now I'm 20, and none of the dreams I dreamed I see right now, nor did the plans I had come into fruition. Play became tasteless. Priorities have adjusted to more than me. I can see that a lot has changed within me. I guess I can call myself more mature. But are these the changes I want to see?
I now see life as an everyday thing. Tomorrow is never certain, so why worry about it too much? But never too carefree. Love is something you share with your family, and will come to you in a form of a partner, when you work hard, but never comes when you stand there idle. Money is power. Time is an enemy. Friends are family extensions. Home is where you feel best, and that will be my room, and not the house itself. Music is the food for your soul, and nothing more. Religion is the drug of the mass. Logic is what drives people to power. Crushes are good for the heart, as long as they stay pretty at all times. Food is life. What else?
In my two years in college, I have changed more than I thought I would. There are times when I see my 18 year old self in me sometimes, but very faint. Am I happy with how I am changing? What are these changes I see in myself? I removed myself in front of the mirror and took a quick shower. I meditated under the rushing water towards my head. "I am old. Older than who I am right now." It was a quick realization. I may not be as mature as others out there, but I know I am mature. There are people out there who are almost around fifty(50), but if you see them treat life, it's as if they are around twenty(20). Always trying to find happiness from those who are around them. Collecting lovers as if they were trading cards. Some even play harder than kids. And then there are those kids who are so deep, when they speak, they can make you sum up your life, and make you see how you're wasting yours.
So what if I am older than myself? Nothing. Will it help people understand me? I don't think so. My main point, I guess, in making such a post is than I want them to look in the mirror, and do a little soul searching. Ask. Are you happy right now? Are you seeing the change you want? Are you content with what your doing? Are you really happy with what you're doing? Me? Before I even made this post, I made a sum of things I wanted to change in myself. I found a lot possible, and some needs a little push. I also made myself see myself as not someone that celebrates birthdays, to count the time when he need to man up. Everyday, I have to grow, and I will.
Happy birthday. :D
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